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Ten Things You Should Say in an Amazon Book Review

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August 19, 2014 by Nathaniel Tower

You probably aren’t writing enough book reviews.

Reviews are especially important for independent authors and small presses. A good review not only helps to drive sales, but it also makes an author (or publisher) feel good about his or her writing. Without reviews, how can an author validate his/her self worth?

The main reason people don’t leave reviews is because they think it’s time consuming to come up with something eloquent to say. But reviews don’t need to be eloquent. In fact, they don’t need to take any thought or effort at all.

Reviews aren’t difficult, but I want to make them even easier on you. I’ve prepared ten canned responses that will apply to just about any book you’ve read. The next time you finish reading a book, log in to Amazon and post one of these simple reviews:

1. If Jane Austen and Franz Kafka met in a bar and wrote a novel together, this is what they would come up with.

2. These poems will literally make you horny. Every word is so poetic and amazing.

3. The author creates a strikingly vivid world through the vividness of carefully crafted prose that leaps off the page and into the core of your soul. If you aren’t affected by this, then you aren’t human.

4. If God wrote books, they wouldn’t be this good.

review

5. This book will leave you wondering why the hell James Franco has a major publishing deal and not this author.

6. Move over Gatsby. There’s a new quintessential American novel in town.

7. If I still taught high school English, I would make my students read it–and they would all love it.

8. Five stars isn’t enough to say how good this book is. I give it ten stars. No, twenty stars!!

9. If you read only one book in your lifetime, make it this one. If you read a second book, make it this one again.

10. Anyone who gives a damn about the craft of writing needs to read this book now. You will be a better writer, a smarter person, and a terrific human being.

See? Reviews don’t have to be long or difficult to write. If you don’t see one particular review above that seems to work, then combine a few of them.

While you’re at it, copy and paste the same review to Goodreads. In just a matter of minutes, you will have probably convinced a slew of people to buy a new book. Or at least to get it for free on Kindle Unlimited.

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