Last Updated on July 12, 2024 by Nathaniel Tower
We’re about to talk about the worse grammatical mistake in history.
There’s a funny thing about possessive pronouns.
They don’t use apostrophes.
Even the ones that end in ‘s.’
Here are the possessives pronouns you probably use a lot:
Mine, yours, theirs, ours, his, hers, whose.
Oh, and then there are these things called possessive determiners (or possessive adjectives), which are pretty much the same as possessive pronouns:
My, your, their, our, his, her, whose, its.
I’m not going to focus on the difference between those two. I don’t want to say it doesn’t matter, but there are approximately zero valuable use cases in life where knowing the difference between possessive pronouns and possessive determiners is going to be the difference between life and death.
Also, I’m not going to talk about how people frequently misuse “your” instead of “you’re.” This also isn’t about how frequently people use an apostrophe when they are looking for the possessive version of “its.”
No, I’m going to talk about something that is far stupider.
It’s this:
What in tarnation did you just say?
Is I’s a word?
Yeah, people say “I’s.” But it’s not a word.
Not in any situation. Never.
It sounds just like “eyes” which is a word, but “I’s” is used to show possession.
I’m going to call this The Bachelor grammar mistake.
Because every episode of The Bachelor (or any other reality dating show, for that matter) features a scene with someone saying ”I’s.”
Yes, I’ve watched more than a few episodes. This is a documented fact.
People on reality shows (and in real life, too) say “I’s.”
It’s usually something like this: “Sam and I’s relationship.”
Again, say what?
Where the hell did “I’s” come from?
Newsflash: there’s already a first-person possessive word.
It’s “my.”
And you also have “mine.”
You know what’s not a word in any situation ever?
“I’s.”
Not a word.
Never.
It usually pops up when you are trying to show shared possession.
Like “my wife and I’s favorite vacation spot is Hawaii.”
Nope, that’s not how you say it.
Here are some correct alternatives to that train wreck of a sentence:
“My wife’s and my favorite vacation spot is Hawaii.”
“Hawaii is my wife’s and my favorite vacation spot.”
Okay, so those are both technically correct, but they may not roll off the tongue at first. You have to gest used to it. Of course, they both sound infinitely better than saying “I’s.”
You could also try saying it like this:
“My wife and I love going to Hawaii. It’s our favorite vacation spot.”
Dammit, that’s wordier than the original.
But it sounds better. And sometimes using a few more words makes you sound less like an idiot.
I honestly don’t care how you say it. But please, please, please don’t ever say “I’s.”
It’s not a word. And I hope it will never be recognized as one.
Because it’s the worst-sounding thing I’ve ever heard.