Last Updated on February 18, 2024 by Nathaniel Tower
Update (Jan 4, 2021): I’ve received a lot of feedback regarding this post and its harsh tone. If you are reading this post, please note that it’s not meant to discourage anyone from being a writer, nor is it meant to be taken completely seriously. Every writer questions their abilities from time to time. If you are a young or new writer and you can’t check many of the boxes yet, I encourage you to keep trying. The last thing I would ever want is for someone to give up their dream to be a writer because of this silliness!
Like every other writer in the world, I occasionally question whether or not I’m a real writer.
So I devised this little test. Here are 12 signs you aren’t really a writer. If 4 or more of these apply to you, then you might not be a real writer. At least not yet. But if you keep practicing your craft and stick with it, you can become a good writer.
You aren’t a real writer unless you can pass this test
Keep track as you go through each of these 12 things. Once you hit 4 of them, you can probably admit to not being a real writer!
1. You always force yourself to think about ideas to write about
It’s fine to think about writing, but it’s also okay to take a break once in a while. If you’re always forcing it, then it isn’t real. Real writers don’t spend every waking moment straining to find things to write about.
2. Criticism hurts your feelings
Sure, a bad review of what you thought was your career-defining work will get you down, but if you can’t take any criticism, then you aren’t really a writer. This is especially true of constructive criticism. If you’re the type who thinks every little critique is an attack on your skills as a writer, then a writer you are not.
3. Rejection gets you down every time
Get over yourself. Rejection is part of being a writer. Sure, some rejections sting more than others, but you eventually just have to accept it. When real writers are rejected, they do one of two things: submit somewhere else or revise their shitty writing. Oh, and maybe drink themselves into oblivion.
4. You think you’ll lose it if you don’t use it
It’s fine to write every day. It’s cool if you want to set aside time to write or have daily word count goals. But if going a day without writing makes you feel like you’re going to lose something as a writer, then you aren’t a writer. It’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget how to write because you go a day or two without doing it.
Note: if you have writer’s block, that doesn’t impact your ability to be a writer. We all get writer’s block from time to time. If you are struggling with writer’s block, try these tips to overcome it.
5. You don’t recognize your own bad writing
Do you think everything you write is good? You’re definitely not a writer. Even great writers have a fair amount of crap in their repertoire. The best writers in the world publish less than 25% of what they write, and most good writers can recognize the difference between the good and the bad.
6. You think everything you write is bad
On the flipside, if you never think your writing is good, then you aren’t a writer. Occasional self-doubt is cool and all, but if you think everything you write sucks, well, then it probably does. You can keep writing your garbage, but don’t call yourself a writer.
7. You’ve never made any money off your writing
You don’t have to make a living off writing in order to be a writer, but if you’ve never made any money, then you aren’t a writer (yet). Especially in today’s world where there are so many opportunities to make a few bucks here and there as a writer (hell, self-publish on Amazon and sell one copy to your mom). Shooting free throws in the driveway a few days a week doesn’t make you a basketball player, does it? Oh, one more thing. Just because you have made some money off your writing doesn’t mean you are a writer. Getting called in to sub for your cousin with a broken arm in a pick-up basketball game on the playground doesn’t make you a basketball player either.
If you want to make money off your writing, check out this post about how to sell your short stories for good money. If short stories aren’t your thing, here are some other ways to earn a living as a writer.
8. People often tell you that you can’t make it as a writer
I often hear people tell these horror stories about all the people who’ve told them they’ll never cut it as a writer. If you’re hearing this all the time, then you probably aren’t a very good writer. Either that or you are surrounded by a bunch of negative people. Just remember, if it doesn’t quack like a duck…
9. You get really mad about other people’s book deals
Yeah, it probably ticks you off a little that 50 Shades of Grey sold millions of copies even though it’s widely considered to be less than great writing. But sometimes shit sells. If you get really mad about everyone else’s book deal, then you aren’t a real writer. Instead, you should spend more time figuring out what actually sells.
10. You create conspiracy theories about publishing
So you haven’t been published yet. No big deal. Sometimes it takes a while. Some writers wait decades before they get published. It’s fine to try to think about why you haven’t been published (not commercial enough, not sending out the right stuff, not sending out to the right venues, etc.). But if you’re coming up with wild theories about why you haven’t been published, then you aren’t a writer.
11. You spend more time wondering if you’re a writer than actually writing
Writers write. If you’re always sitting around thinking, “Oh, woe is me, am I writer?” then you aren’t a writer. Just shut up and write already. Stop Googling things like “am I a bad writer” or “signs your writing is bad.” Instead, focus on trying to be a great writer. Maybe start searching for things like “how to become a better writer” instead!
12. You think you’ve never had an experience worth writing about
No matter what type of writer you are, you need some real life experiences. Poets, fiction writers, journalists. Everyone has to be able to draw from something. But guess what? Even sitting in your room without doing anything for five years is an experience you can write about. If you can’t find any inspiration from your own life, then you aren’t a writer.
Bonus. This list pisses you off
Okay, so you might not agree with this list, but if it really makes you mad, then you must not be a writer. No real writer would get upset about something so trivial.
The truth about being a writer
Regardless of how you did on this test, the real test of whether or not you are a writer is if you write. If you write and consider yourself a writer, then you are a writer. Now all you need to do is continue practicing your craft and bury those doubts!
So, did you pass the test? Are you a writer or not? Share your results in the comments.
I really like your take on this very trending topic. Visit my site for a free offer that will boosting traffic/sales in…
JK. It’s me. Did you think I was spam? Dope list, man. Keep it up, i.e. more please.
Surprised you made it past the spam filter. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I think the „writer“ forgot No. 13: you are not a Writer if you waste your time posting quizzes about who is and who isn’t a writer 🤪
That was fun – I think if anyone cannot get past #1 they should stop. I will never have time to write everything I want to write or have notes on.
Neil, thank you for reading and commenting. There’s way too much to write about to think about what you should write about, right?
How dare you!!!
Nah, just kidding. 🙂
I disagreed with number 7 until I realised you said writer and not artist. I mean, I firmly believe that great art can be made and put ino a drawer and never see the light of day and still be amazing art when discovered 100 years later, but when you think of being a writer as a job or career as well as a calling/hobby/passion, it makes sense.
As for number 8, I’ve heard that, but curiously only from people who’ve never read anything I wrote, so it was more a general warning about the creative arts.
Thanks for reading and commenting (and having a good sense of humor). Yes, in regards to number 8, I’m only talking about people who’ve read your work and then told you that you’ll never make it. Those general comments about how nobody can make a living as a writer/artist are exempt from this.
Oh dear! I was quite sure I’d pass this test, but Nos. 4 and 6 had me wondering for a moment! Thanks for a hilarious post as usual!
Sounds like you still passed! 🙂
Reblogged this on REAL people REAL Opportunity! S F I.
Thanks for putting this out there. It seems like most aspiring writers talk about how they can’t not write, and they all have kept journals from the moment they learned to juggle the alphabet into words. This occasionally makes me doubt myself, because my drive comes from wanting to write, not needing to. Your laid back take on this subject rings true.
Nina, thank you for your thoughtful response. Glad you enjoyed the piece!
Wow, this is the most precious, pompous thing you’ve posted yet. Writers write. Full stop. And they are human, not some kind of supernatural being incapable of feeling jealousy, anger, etc. Writers write. And its not some kind of magical club that we need to work so hard to keep people out.
And i get that you’re being funny partly, or trying to be, but considering your oeuvre its hard to tell. condescension seems to reign.
I appreciate your opinion and am sorry you didn’t find the humor in it. Can’t please everyone, right?
Thanks for taking the time to read and commemt. I don’t fully agree with your simplistic formula for what makes a writer. A writer does much more than simply write. This post is not an attempt to keep anyone out of some special club. It’s a whimsical attempt to point out many of the challenges that aspiring writers face. We all run into some of these feelings from time to time.
Meh, it actually is that simple. What you’re talking about here are definitions based on along some type of commerce, not art. Post like this promote a philosophy that there are “Real Writers” separate from the “Pretenders,” and that line is usually marked down by someone more interested in gatekeeping than community. If someone is wondering if they are a “real writer” the only worthwhile question is, “do you write?” So #11 is pretty much your only valid point. If you don’t write, then you’re not a writer. If you write, then you are one. Are you a good writer? Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it?
Simply doing something does not make it art. You are obviously not a writer if you don’t write, but simply writing doesn’t make you a writer. Maybe it does on a literal level, but we’re looking at something deeper here.
It seems like you are trying to take this post far too seriously. If someone is honestly wondering if they are a “real writer” and trying to use this list to determine it, then we all clearly know what the answer is.
That being said, it’s been fun interacting with you, and I think you’ve provided some interesting counterpoints. Thanks for keeping the discussion alive.
So what is a “writer” then by your definition?
i’m taking this post in the context of other things you’ve written. So I see the snark.
It’s a fun post :), I made it past most of them. Though my writing isn’t that good, I’ll improve more, people did say I have potential, guess I passed?
Nice post.
I made a similar point to the basketball analogy a couple of weeks back. “I play football in the park with the kids, does that make me a footballer?”
http://adadsviewblog.com/2015/09/27/i-am-not-a-writer/
Hi! Five minutes ago I came to the conclusion to give up writing, hence not thinking I was a writer but just giving up the action. So I tapped in ‘what if you’re a crap writer’ on Google search and came upon your link.
Each point made me laugh and didn’t apply to me, apart from the one where I’ve made no money! Luckily I’ve never described myself as a writer but more so someone who writes. I have been writing for myself for over 20 yrs as a hobby and as therapy. It really has helped me to write over the years and probably will continue to do so. There are so many crappy writers who write meaningles drivel but I think writing should be embraced and expressed in all forms, crappy or otherwise. I say never give writing whatever!
Thank you for reading and posting. I’m honored that my post came up for a Google search about crap writers!
I’m glad you don’t plan to give up. Keep writing as long as it’s something you enjoy. Good luck!
You pretentious piece of shit
Thank you for reading and adding to the discussion. If you ever find the time, please share some of your valuable contributions to the literary community with me!
Ok, I get that this article is old and you probably won’t even see this. And I get that it’s satire. But the tone doesn’t convey particularly well, especially to kids. I just had a 14 year old come up to me really upset after finding this article through a google search, saying that he was going to quit writing because obviously he was just pretending. It absolutely crushed him.
Please think about this sort of thing next time. Maybe tag the post as satire in some way?
There are lots of things on the Internet that a 14 year old child shouldn’t be accessing. Perhaps it would be better to teach children how to properly filter the information they come across, rather than expecting the world to pare down their content so younger audiences aren’t offended. If reading a tongue-in-cheek list on the Internet was enough to crush his fragile hopes and aspirations, then maybe he’s not meant to be a writer.
I used to work with 13-14 year-olds and that comment would have been a great ‘teachable’ moment for how to assess a piece such as this one. If you get that it’s satire then you have all you need to point out to a kid how they can get that it is satire.
Sounds like a teachable moment – just show the kid the things about the article that help you see it as satire. You could even have him come up with some satirical list himself.
I’m glad you wrote this. Many of these fit me. I’m a good writer but I don’t believe I enjoy it enough to make an effort for a career. I think I see it as more of an achievement. I know I’m an artist because I don’t have to question it plus I do art every day and know for a fact I enjoy it and could somehow make a career of it. I’ve been questioning whether I’m a writer for years and I question it more than actually doing it. Thanks! 🙂
The irony in this article.
I thought I wasn’t a good writer until I read this list and realized I’m a better writer than you. Thank you.
Yep, so I just found this post on Pinterest, so I figured why not. I laughed at some of this, and by the end decided I passed. I’ve never actually questioned whether or not I’m a writer, it seeing the one about not losing it if you don’t use it… I see people and writers saying you absolutely need to write every single day of your life… I’ve self published two books and have finished the plans for a new one, and have started many that likely will never be finished unless I go back and fix the serious plot issues… but I was so frustrated by everyone saying you have to write every day. I do so many things in a day that I often only write about twice a week. I write down a lot of things, like bills and things I need to plan ahead for almost every day, but for eventual sellable writing material only a couple times a week.
I look back on my high school and college writing projects and journals and think wow, I could have been so much better than that, but a get to the odd one and think wow, that was kind of awesome, for a 16 year old. Haha. I’m 27 now and I know in ten or so years I will look at my books and think wow, that was crap to what I can do now. But that’s the whole point of growing as a writer, right?
And I gave my mom a copy of my first book. But I’ve sold quite a few in my community and a lot of people tell me they think it’s great that I write a book at all, because there’s only one other person in our community who writes “professionally” and he’s been doing it for longer than I’ve been alive. So a new writer is a surprising welcome. I have even been asked to go to the high school to talk to an English class and talk about my process of writing and how I published my books, even though it’s a pretty simple explanation from how I did it, it’s something I think could be fun. Any pointers on talking to a group of teenagers and making it a fun class instead of a boring “I did this, then I did this, and here I am” sort of pep talk? I’ve never talked to a whole group before.
Michelle, thank you for sharing your experience. I think you’ve more than passed the writer test. Sounds like you are on your way to acing it! Being invited to a school to discuss your process is fantastic, both for you and the students.
As a former high school teacher, I know how short their attention spans can be, especially if they aren’t interested in the topic. Of course, there are likely some aspiring writers in the class. My simple advice is to make it as hands-on as possible. Maybe you could show them some of your early drafts and laugh at the mistakes you made. Share some of your failures. Make them realize you are human and that no matter where they are right now, they can have success if they work for it. Then launch into your process. Those are just some quick ideas, but I would be happy to have some more dialogue about this. Shoot me an email and we can discuss it more!
What a load of blar blar nonsense…not an ounce of truth.
I’m still fairly young, so some of these do not apply to me. I am very aware I do not have the qualifications just yet to advance in a career such as writing. I mainly do this as a hobby, but even at my young age, I still pass some of these questions. This post gives me a better outlook on writing and being a writer. I don’t think I am truly a “writer” just yet, but that will not stop me from writing.
I’m not entirely sure you know how satire works… But who am I to say anything, I just found out I’m not really a writer!
Carole, thanks for reading and playing along. I have a feeling you are really a writer!
I got past it all except for the making money part. I’m only thirteen…I’m trying.
That is awesome! You are doing great for your age, and I have no doubt you will be making money soon. It sure sounds like you are already a real writer. As soon as you get that first paid publication, please share it here!
haha good one! 🙂
I don’t know if it’s just my brain, but this doesn’t read as satire. Some of the wording came off a little too harshly as well, more like gatekeeping than anything else. I feel like it’s just going to discourage aspiring writers. Maybe instead of “criticism hurts your feelings” it could have been “you explode at anyone who criticizes you” or “you don’t accept criticism. A writer who is internally hurt by criticism but takes it into account anyways out of a genuine desire to improve is still a writer, no? In addition, most people reading this are young and still questioning their talents, so they’re very unlikely to have already sold their work.
Thank you for reading and sharing your feedback. I appreciate your viewpoint, particularly in regard to how this article could impact a young writer. I plan to make some updates to the article, starting with a short disclaimer at the top.
You could have spoken with nobility, rather than crappiness, about the importance of learning to write, as one speaks. If your mind is full of crap, then that’s what will come out. I’ve been told, from the age of fifteen, that I’m a gifted writer. I’ve always thought of words as toys to be played with. And I’ve always thought that my words can always be changed; and that God’s Word is the only Word that cannot be changed. Thank you.
I always take great care in what I write about. I’m not going to waste anybody’s time, I’m not that pretentious. Understand?
By posting this, you obviously have a lot you like about what you write. Good for you. In my opinion I’ve yet to see anything of value coming from your writing.
I think having all those problems, never fully loving anything you write, even never liking what you write it’s actually what makes a real writer. Dissatisfaction is what sets the sheep appart; which is funny, because your vulgar tirade of what makes a real writer shows to me actually you are the typical sheep aiming to frame a really prosaic opinion as fact, more in tone with the horrible quality americans have today (making it everything about quantity, no self doubt, enamored with the crap they spit daily and harsh opinions) gone to shit with their dwindling of culture.
Good for you to put up a disclaimer or else I would have also pointed out how discouraging the tone of this article is. For young and aspiring writer especially.
I came here because I was doubting if I really was into writing, yet I still passed all of them (I honestly couldn’t understand the satire but I’ve read in the comments that the article isn’t meant to be taken seriously in that way). I’m questioning because I really want to write and be published, though I don’t need to be famous for it, but I have a hard time actually writing. I can’t tell if that’s my perfectionist brain filtering through every idea that doesn’t strike me as “good enough” or if it’s simply because writing isn’t the thing I’m really into. There are moments where I feel like “damn I really want to get to that keyboard!” but often by the time I have the chance to sit down and write I’ve lost it or am too lazy to do it. There are times that I start to write and think about a story a lot and all that but I also tend to give up on them easily after a while. But I’m not sure if this stems from me being a pantser (or at least leaning towards that side of the spectrum) and therefore not knowing where to go and eventually finding it hard to continue, OR if it’s because I’m not into writing. It’s these kinds of doubts I have because I worry I’m doing it not to write but to be a writer. And I realize that my doubts are already I sign but I really feel like writing is the thing for me, you know? Like I’ve been day dreaming in the fantasy land from the fifth grade (I’m starting tenth), and I really like the idea of escaping reality and creating a whole new world with new people, each of which have their own stories. Then there’s this last doubt that I fear that I write not because I want to write but because I want to want to write. Sorry for my rant.
How is that facts though.
I never questioned being a writer before Ive shared my writing with my grandparents and family but mot really the outside world. Of course I’ve written for school before but now that I’ve said that this is an career I want to follow I feel like I have to be the best. The writing classes I was excited about slightly worry me Im scared the teacher with actual experience will hate my work. And I got my first criticized feedback today and I watched his face as he read my work and it hurt me. Not in a terrible i want to cry way but it really bothered me. what he said wasn’t even that bad but i cant even really remember. But i think what i learned from this that i just need to be tougher the work was kinda shitty and i knew that i liked the ides but some parts drifted. anyways thx for this.
I thoroughly enjoyed this list.
Thank you! Now i finally have the proof that i’m NOT a real writer.
As almost everything fits me.
Maik, thank you for reading and commenting. Keep in mind that the post is not meant to be taken completely seriously. You can still be a real writer even if you a lot of these points fit you. It all depends on how much you want to be a writer! Don’t give up on it because of a silly list article.
I have a question on the point 8
If someone tells you that you will never be a writer, without reading your script, it means you aren’t a writer?
If one person who hasn’t read your writing tells you that you will never be a writer, you should ignore them.
Eh…I’d argue that you are confusing the term writer with author…but whatever, semantics.
I’m a writer…always have been. Haven’t decided to be an author at this point. These days there is so much trash to sift through and I’m busy. I still write hundreds of thousands of words a year.
So maybe I’m a writer, maybe not.
Incidentally, I’m the only one that doesn’t want me to become an author. I think that makes me a writer…even if I never publish.
I passed it with flying colours. Although it is written for fun and with a humourous side, it contains many truths about what makes a writer.
If you ever revise this article, I have a 13th criteria to suggest: If you can imagine your life without the thrill of writing, you are not a writer!
Great article. I’m sorry that some of the commenters were quite rude. I didn’t check all the boxes but I already know that I’m not a writer yet. This article reminded me to get back to writing. Thanks.
(P.S. Those of you making pretentious comments and getting offended, take a breath and ask yourself why )
I was curious to see how I’d measure up because I do struggle with criticism. However, this is probably due to the fact that I’ve only just started to look into publishing something I have written. I can sort of fall into the trappings of #1 as well, but the thing is, I don’t HAVE to write. Sometimes I do other things like daydream or indulge in other hobbies that may later enrich my writing. I write for the enjoyment of it. I just happen to love to write. I’m glad I saw this. At first, I wasn’t sure if I would pass, but I did. Not perfectly, but enough! The areas in which I don’t pass are simply due to inexperience.
The hostility I see in some of these replies is hilarious! You possibly touched a nerve, or tore some out, or kicked their puppy. I don’t remember how I ended up on this page, but I found it all amusing (with a fair bit of accuracy). I’m not a paid writer yet (unless the short stories I wrote for classmates years ago count). I’ve been writing the good, the bad, and the ugly for many years. Thanks for the information about where to make actual pay for short stories! I’m heading over there now.
Thank you for the comment, and sorry for waiting so long to approve it. I have fallen far behind on approving comments. I appreciate your support, and I hope you sold one of your stories by now!
12 out of 12, 13 with the bonus.