I see you’re sitting down, working hard trying to get something out. Are you writing the next great American novel or taking the dump of a lifetime? No matter which pursuit you are following, both the process and product are pretty much the same. Here’s a deeper exploration of the similarities between writing and taking … Continue reading 9 Hilarious Reasons Why Writing Is Like a Bowel Movement
Most writers are good people, regardless of what their credentials are. I have a lot of friends who are writers. A fair number of them have an MFA in writing. They’re all awesome people and great writers. I also know a lot of people in the writing community who don't have an MFA. Most of … Continue reading MFAsplaining and how it hurts writers everywhere
The toughest part about writing isn’t the actual writing. It’s figuring out what to write about. It can be frustrating as hell to come up with a topic that’s actually worth putting in the time to develop into a full poem, blog post, story, novel, letter, or whatever the hell else you might right. Hell, … Continue reading More Shit to Write About
Everyone knows the best way to start a novel or a story is with a killer opening line. You need something that hooks the reader and immediately sets whatever mood you’re trying to set. It should be your best sentence. In fact, what follows doesn’t really matter that much because you’ve done such a good … Continue reading How to write a great opening line that will make your readers salivate
Every blogger dreams of creating that one piece of content that goes viral. And almost every blogger has been so confident in a piece they’ve written that they were ready to celebrate their success before they even published it. But almost all of those bloggers came back the next day to find their post had … Continue reading How to Write a Blog Post that Will Generate Millions of Pageviews and Thousands of Shares
I’ve never penned a bestseller but dammit, I’ve read a handful of them, so I know exactly what it takes to write one. Given the time and resources, I’d probably pump out dozens of them. I’d have myself a mansion with an enormous library, a leather chair, and one of those big ass ladders so … Continue reading 8 Guaranteed Ways to Become a Best-Selling Author
I am now 34 years old. To date, I have zero bestsellers to my name. Clearly it's time to give up writing forever. I mean, what's the point of dragging it out for another three or four decades before I meet my untimely demise? If you're thinking whether or not you should do the same, … Continue reading 34 Reasons to Stop Writing Forever
Update (Jan 4, 2021): I've received a lot of feedback regarding this post and its harsh tone. If you are reading this post, please note that it's not meant to discourage anyone from being a writer, nor is it meant to be taken completely seriously. Every writer questions their abilities from time to time. If … Continue reading 12 Signs You Aren’t Really a Writer
